Different
by Rosa Lui
Summary: If this was going to be his lot in life, to dirty himself so the people he cared for would not have to feel pain, then that is what he would do. DokuKou.


**Disclaimer:** Not mine. :3

**A/N:** This was written for a Spring Kink prompt, which asked for Kougaiji/Dokugakuji on apphrodesiacs and being watched. ._. What came out was more angsty than kinky.

* * *

**Different**

* * *

By now they should have known better than to turn their backs on Nii Jianyi. Doku didn't trust the fucker as far as he could throw him, but as a group they had grown complacent. They locked their doors at night - as if that made the slightest bit of difference - and the prince was strong, stronger than he had ever been.

Too secure in their own strengths, too concentrated on their mission - whatever it was, they had stopped looking for attacks.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ of them.

Nii had never been one to use overt force; he tricked and cajoled and _manipulated_ until they were stuck in his web, all the while watching them like a crow alighting on his prey. And their mistake - their huge, huge mistake - had been in forgetting the man's capacity for sadism purely for his own amusement.

And in the middle of a banquet - a fucking royal youkai banquet, Gyokumen Koushu presiding over them garbed in the queen's old robes, obi tied in front like a prostitute and neckline slipping lewdly down over her shoulders just because she knew it would make the prince seethe - Nii struck from the shadows.

Doku had seen the moment it hit, from his place guarding the doors. He had not been offered refreshment, but the other guests had; and he saw the look that crossed Nii's face as the guests took their first, ceremonial sip of win.

It took only minutes for the effects of the drug to take hold.

Order deteriorated in seconds – he had never seen anything like it – and then they were upon each other. Not out of bloodlust, as was Doku's first thought, sword materializing in his hand. This was much, much worse.

Clothing was shredded as grasping claws dug into skin; it was rough and mindless and driven entirely by lust as youkai, friend and foe alike, turned to the nearest body and tried to claim it for their own. The display was wild and horrifying; writhing bodies driven mad by narcotics came together in couples or _groups_ and thoughtlessly threw away all dignity and sense, the high and proud brought low in shameless display. And all the while, Nii surveyed his handywork from the side as he bent down to Gyokumen Kyoushu and they laughed together.

It was meant for nothing but utter humiliation – the clans of the visiting youkai would be furious but unable to retaliate unless they were ready to admit to their own members' actions – and the entire room was turned into a writhing orgy bed.

Except for Kougaiji. His prince. He was doubled over at the table, hands clutching his head, wine glass smashed where he had thrown it after a single sip. He seemed to be fighting the effects – well, it was true he had always been stronger than the average youkai –

But no, Doku revised, as Nii raised his head briefly from Kyoshu's white skin to smirk at the prince. No, his dose had been purposely lowered – he was feeling the effects more slowly -

Nii wanted Kougaiji to understand what was happening to himself. And he wanted to watch and remember, as the prince commited whatever act he eventually found himself unable to resist –

"Dokugakuji?" The sound of a voice that usually brought him comfort – the voice of his friend – made him freeze, as Yaone jogged up the corridor to him, a worried frown marring her pretty face. "I was sent a message – one of Nii's assistants told me Prince Kougaiji required me immediately –"

That absolutely horrid, _twisted little fuck_. The doctor had taken the one person he knew Kougaiji would never forgive himself for hurting and tried to place her exactly where –

"Get away," Doku said quickly, arm barring her from the door. "Something's happened, just get away –"

Across the hall, Yaone's voice and scent had already drawn Kougaiji's notice; he was staring at her with wide horrified eyes, eyes clouded and hazy, pupils dilated –

Oh, God, no.

One shaking hand came away from the prince's face and grasped the arm of his chair, crushing and snapping the hard wood, his entire limb shaking –

Oh, _God._

Kougaiji licked his lips. "….out," he panted, before raising his head again. "Get _out_," he roared, staring her staight in the eye. "Get Lirin and get out _get all your women and the children and just get everyone out –"_ Even as he spoke he was rising and coming toward them swiftly – he meant to push her out the door, Doku knew, just as he knew that by the time Kougaiji reached them, his intent would have changed and Yaone would never have time to get away –

He shoved Yaone into the corridor and slammed the door shut between them just as Kougaiji reached it.

It shook as he hurled himself into it, eyes wild – the drug was taking hold and all he could think of now was her, that bit of her scent he had caught –

"Kougaiji _no_ ," Doku snarled, an arm hooked around his best friend's chest as he wrestled him away – "_No_, you will _hate yourself _if you –"

Kougaiji knocked him away and dove toward the door again like an animal seeking its prey. And just like that, Doku knew what he had to do. Knew, and hated it because _oh God oh God not again – _

He grabbed the prince's arm and in one motion threw him against the wall and smashed their lips together. They both froze for a moment before the effect of another warm-blooded body took over – he drew on fantasies he'd barely let himself acknowledge and let Kougaiji's mouth open his, rough tongue forcing its way into his mouth, teeth drawing blood as they sunk into his bottom lip –

Then hands were wrapping around his torso and Kougaiji was sliding down, hot tongue laving against nipples and claws digging in to his back, dragging red scratches down his sides –

The prince reached a hand towards the waistband of the pants in front of him and Dokugakuji became suddenly, painfully aware of Nii watching them from across the hall, eyes burning into his back, eager to see the prince that had irked and rebelled against him utterly humiliate himself –

And Doku would not give that sadistic madman the satisfaction of seeing the crown prince debase himself in such a way.

He would do what he had to instead. After all, he had done so, _so_ _much worse_ in the past. This was nothing. If it was going to be his lot in life, to dirty himself so the people he cared for would not have to feel pain, then that is what he would do.

Reaching down to grab Kou by the shirt – it ripped slightly in his grip, and he didn't care – he pulled him up, forced their mouths together again, and plunged his free and into his best friend's pants. Kougaiji's mouth opened in a soundless pant and his head fell back against the wall, shoving his hips shamelessly forward as he ground into Dokugakuji's hand.

The similarities to _other things _made him want to hurl. But this was Kou, not someone of his own blood. He could do this. He could make himself _want _this, where before he'd kept his eyes shut and mouth clenched with the fear that if he opened them he'd either cry or vomit all over –

This was different. The body in front of him was hard and muscled and lean and _male_, and he could make things as different as they could possibly be.

He let go for only seconds, hands undoing his own belt buckle and yanking his pants down to around his hips – his own modesty did not matter here, _it did not_ – before doing the only thing that could allow Kougaiji a semblance of dignity in this situation and turning himself to face the wall. Forehead pressed to the cool stone, forearms braced against it on either side, he ground his teeth against the pain and let himself enjoy the waves of pleasure that came after as Kougaiji reached around him -

Sharp teeth sank into his shoulder from behind and he let himself cry out. Skin was sticky and hot where it pressed together, beads of sweat slowly rolling down –

Nii could watch them all he wanted, now. Turned this way, he would never see Kougaiji give up dominance to another, and Kougaiji would never see his worst enemy and his father's mistress defiling each other on his mother's robes

* * *

Dokugakuji had never before seen such a large group of people wake to such mortification. Youkai that once kept aloof from one another had rutted like animals in a night they couldn't remember but were awaking to the undeniable aftermath of; years of political games and saving face had all been destroyed.

Maybe, he thought, it would be good for them.

But now, it was none of his concern. His only concern was Kougaiji, who was still asleep but starting to stir.

He had to get him out of here before anyone – including the prince – realized he had been there. He had planned to move Kou to his room during the night, but the effect of the drug had refused to fade, and his efforts had only resulted in further… activities. Unable to risk opening the doors – though Gods willing, Yaone had done exactly as they asked and removed everyone possible – he had allowed Kougaiji to sleep it off, slumped against the far wall.

Sometime in the night, Nii had whisked Gyokumen away – likely to her chambers, which he really did not want to think about. His stomach was already crawling. There was guilt there, certainly; anger and sick worry and self-disgust – but not at Kou, who had tried as hard as he could to resist the effects. The actual act had not been the problem, really. In fact, if he were honest with himself, it had been a little better than just "not a problem."

_Or a lot._

Still. All he had to do now was quietly move Kougaiji to a more secluded area, away from prying eyes –

But the prince was stirring now, dark auburn hair spilling down his bare shoulders and falling across his face to lightly tickle long exotic eyelashes.

Not that Doku was looking. It seemed trivial, after everything that had happened the night before – but this was his prince, and things like looking at eyelashes were not acceptable. Kougaiji groaned, eyelids flickering open as he shifted slightly, arm coming down to brace himself as he levered himself up from the floor. Dark eyes opened, unfocused at first before he blinked –

Their gazes met, and it could not have been more painfully obvious that Kougaiji _knew_. Wide, horrified eyes stared at him, mouth slightly agape, the expression growing on his face nothing less than utter disgust.

Well, shit.

"Look," he started uncertainly, hand going to the back of his head in a gesture that seemed disturbingly normal for such an abnormal situation. "There was – Nii had – thingy - basically it was the best option out of a lot of bad ones, Kou, and –"

"Don't," Kougaiji rasped out, voice hoarse for reasons Doku preferred not to think about. "Just – don't."

"….I'm sorry," Doku tried anyway.

"Stop," Kougaiji all but snapped, hand slamming down on the floor as he shoved himself into a seated position. "Don't even try. This was inexcusable, and we both know it."

"….Right," Doku said. Reality was setting in, and this was it. Because somehow – stupid of him really, his luck was never that good – he'd expected things to be okay. Awkward sure, but okay. And now, Kou was –

"These people need to leave," Kougaiji was saying distractedly, scanning the piles of feebly stirring Youkai. "No," he said quickly as Dokugakuji started to stand, moving well and managing to hide most of a wince as pain burned up his lower back. "You – no. You have done enough."

And with that Kougaiji dragged himself into a standing position and walked away, refusing to look Doku in the eye again.

That was the last time Doku saw him for the next three days, as Kougaiji disappeared to take care of the potential political shitstorm. Yaone, bless her, had been as good as her word and managed to empty the entire castle of civilians. When she returned, she asked him what had gone so wrong that he was no longer talking to his best friend.

He wasn't quite sure exactly what to tell her.

Kougaiji finally arrived at his door late one night, holding a scroll and a sheaf of papers. "This is signed and sealed," he said without preamble. "Your official release from my service. The other papers are fake identification. You are free to go whenever you like. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry." And with those words he shoved the papers into Dokugakuji's hands, turned on his heel and swept swiftly back down the way he had come.

The documents felt like lead in Doku's hands.

He was being _dismissed._

"_Kou!_" He shouted, dropping the papers and stepping over them as he chased his friend into the corridor. "Why?" He asked, when he finally caught up and Kougaiji turned around. "I'm - I don't - look, I'll stay as normal guard, I'll muck out the fucking stables if I have to, just –"

"What are you talking about?"

"I understand if you never want to look me in the eye again, but –"

"I. Raped. You." Kougaiji practically snarled. "You came to me years ago looking for protection and a place where you _would never have to live a life like the one you had just left _ and I broke your trust in the worst way possible. I'm giving you a chance to get away from me, because you can't forgive me for what happened and _I understand that_. "

"….Forgive you?"

Kougaiji looked pained. "I don't expect you to. I don't assume you will. And if distance is what you need to help heal from… this -"

Doku ran a hand through his hair, things becoming clear at last. "I don't want to leave, Kou," he said quietly. "I thought you were making me leave because you hated _me_ now."

"But –"

"You were drugged. It's – God, leaving here is the last thing I need. I can't start over, not again. It – it wasn't that bad, okay?"

The prince just looked disgusted with himself.

Doku tried again. "It was – I enjoyed it too, yeah? Look, it was drug-induced and weird as fuck and I am going to rip Nii's balls off and feed them to him when I see him again, but – it was alright."

"….You don't want to leave?"

"Hell, no."

The prince nodded once. "Then I don't want you to."

An awkward silence fell, as if neither of them was sure what proper etiquette dictated after one had shared an overabundance of man-feelings.

"I assume you don't have any problem taking up your normal duties."

_ Did I hurt you? _

"Nope, not a one."

_ I'm fine. _

Right. Now he would just say something normal, something casual; then they would part, and things would go back to normal. "So, willing to try it again sometime?" Dokugakuji blurted out. _My mouth, what the fuck is wrong with it._

Kougaiji was staring at him. "That wouldn't bother you?"

"I spent years fucking _my mom_, Kougaiji." Tactful, Doku was not, and he didn't particularly care. "You – this is different. And different is good, yeah?"

The prince looked surprised, as if he hadn't considered that screwing a parent was a pretty good way to _turn you off of that gender forever._

"Then I'd say yes."

"Huh." Right. Well. "How's now sound?" _Brain. Mouth. Filter. Need one._

Kougaiji just walked toward him. His eyes were glinting oddly, and it struck Doku that some of the wildness before may not have been from the drug. Then a clawed hand was grasping the back of Doku's head and their lips were coming together, warm and rough. Teeth hurt until their lips parted and the prince's tongue swept into his mouth.

Some of the dominance may not have been entirely the drug, either.

Doku's hands came up, one sweeping up a dark, marked cheek as the other tangled in the base of that long red ponytail – heads tilted and mouths tried to fit together before Kougaiji let off a tiny growl and jerked away sharply. "You," he said steadily, "are sure? "

"Yeah – fuck, yeah – though maybe we should go back to my –"

He forgot sometimes, just how powerful the prince was – there was a rush of air around them and Kou was propelling them in the door, kicking it shut behind him before hurling the both of them towards the bed. They landed hard, Dokugakuji underneath; as he was still getting the breath back into his lungs, Kougaiji straddled across his stomach, twisting out of his shirt – Doku's mouth went dry at the sight of tanned skin and hard muscles he'd seen a hundred times before in more innocent circumstances – before shoving Doku's own shirt away and licking a long wet trail from the corner of his mouth down to his right nipple.

"Are you healed?" Kougaiji asked him from the general region of his navel, seconds before Dokugakuji felt hands on the zip of his pants and remembered, suddenly, the direction the prince had been going the night before, before Doku had stopped him. Strong hands undid his pants and yanked them down sharply before he felt a hot breath and - _ah_.

Different. Everything. Kougaiji. Who he was and what they were to each other; how he looked, how he felt and - _uhn_.

There wasn't much preparation, but that was fine – they had oil this time, and demon claws did not lend themselves to delicate maneuvers anyway – they were two warriors, not a pair of civilians, not a young boy and a delicate woman –

Different. _Good._ And as the world deteriorated into heat and light and rhythm and panting, he felt the sickness, the horror of the last few nights wash away.


End file.
